I wish I didn’t have these cycles of gaining and losing weight.  Perhaps my resolution should really be to practice moderation consistently so that I didn’t allow myself a binge every now and then.  Yes, the food is good.  No, DELICIOUS.  But, do I really want to feel like I have to have a long recovery and rebuilding process to get back to where I want to be?  Not really.

But, I do know the formula.  That is something I have definitely perfected.  The knowledge has been learned, put into practice over and over again.  Weight loss is a science, that’s for sure.

The scale for weekly weigh-in this morning reported 149.  I lost the remaining binge pounds from a couple weeks ago and a couple more to finally break the 150 barrier.  Of the 120 pounds I wanted to lose, I only have one more.  But hey, guess what, now I’m thinking about revising my goal to 140.  I’m not sure though.  I stepped on the Wii Fit today while I had a little bit of spare time and it told me (again, the nag!) that an ideal weight for me would be 140.  Hmm.  Whatever.

I don’t exactly know why I want to continue in weight “loss” mode.  Do I want to look or feel better, be more toned, meet some standard Nintendo (makers of the Wii system) has for me?  Maybe I am worried about how successful I will be in MAINTENANCE mode!  Yikes.

I got $10 in Kohls Cash emailed to me over the weekend and I decided to go shopping!  I browsed the clearance rack and bought two pair of pants (one jeans and one denim leggings) both in a size 10!  My husband bought me size 12 pants for Christmas and I’m already feeling them loosen up — not too loose yet, so I get to enjoy them a while longer, but they’re definitely loose.  I’m wearing my new size 10 jeans today and I love the way they look.  If they had a straight leg rather than a boot cut, I’d love them even more, but considering the $3.60 price tag (90% off the original $36 price) I’m “dealing with it”, ha ha!

I’ll take the two pounds though and not complain about it.  I ate out three times this past week and had another family birthday party over the weekend.  (My youngest turns three this week!)

The upside:  I was very responsible in my eating yesterday!  I only went 150 calories over my goal for the normal day.  Considering there was party food, I think I did great!  Usually family parties like this are my downfall, but considering I was responsible for the entire meal, I planned it so that the side dishes were relatively healthy ones and that there was not more than one choice for dessert.  The birthday cake was delicious but I had only a small sliver, and instead of a big scoop of the strawberry ice cream, I had only about two tablespoons to wet my palate after the sugary cake.  No one had chocolate or cookies or cheese/sausage trays, etc. etc. etc. — the things that are easy to stand in front of and nibble from all day ad nauseum.

Part of yesterday’s entertainment involved homemade play dough, something definitely not edible!  Sarah liked cutting shamrocks out with cookie cutters (better to make play dough instead of cookies with those if you’re on a diet!) and this was made by our friend Jessi to look like our dog Lou!  Does it look like a beagle/shepherd mix? 

This past weekend was a little stressful for me.  I’ll save you the details, both of the stressors and the particular foods I chose for my indulgence.  Long story short:  I know exactly what happened and why.  I even thought about having to write this post as I was eating.

Fortunately, the stressors are temporary and able to be remediated fairly easily.  And, either next week or the following at this same time, I will be able to report that the handful of pounds are gone again.  I’m thankful that I realize short setbacks like this are going to happen (it’s called LIFE) but that my standard of eating right and in moderation will prevent me from letting LIFE ruin mine.

Three more pounds to go to hit the 148 goal.  I’m ready!

Well, I can blame my current problem on a little Valentines Day chocolate or Superbowl parties or any number of things (there was another family birthday party this weekend where I decided to consume 2000 calories more than I should have) including “time of the month” but I’m not going to dwell on that.  I have been reminded over and over that my lifestyle change has been a good solid one and that when I falter it is just temporary.  Unfortunately, string a few temporary events in a line and it appears habit-forming!

Don’t worry.  It is not.  It just feels that way, given the scale at weigh-in this morning said 159 pounds!  Yikes!  That is seven pounds more than it reported last Monday.  The few big fluctuations in a row (last few weeks were up and down like crazy) really play games with your mind.

A few good things to remember and keep in mind: 

• I did formal exercise yesterday for the first time in several weeks and although it was just using Wii Fit, that balance board was able to remind me that I was still “down” from the last time I weighed in using it.  That shows progress overall, even if the number on the scale tries to contradict me.  What’s more, my little Mii character did report that I am still “Normal” — as I am no longer registering as “overweight” I don’t have to feel so guilty about a few measly pounds on the scale.
• I set a new record for the number of hula hoop rotations in a ten minute time period. 
• There are four more weeks until the next family birthday party, so there shouldn’t be any additional derailments in the short term.
• Even though it doesn’t feel like it now and the extended forecast also does not show any warmer weather, I did have one day last week in the mid-40’s and several above freezing, which leads me to believe that I can indeed “make it” through my first Wisconsin winter as a normal-size person and that, God-willing, my body will begin to acclimate to this treachery so that I will not be as miserable next year.  Yes, I am looking forward to Spring, this year more than any year I ever have in the past!

The older kids came home with their decorated boxes full of candy and folded cartoon valentines but little chocolate.  (Those evil kids usually share with me, and in not getting chocolate, I did not have to “suffer” — ha ha!)

On another food note (aren’t most of them!) I bought all the ingredients to try that white chili, so I think I will make it tomorrow!

But, if I don’t call it a gain, or I’m already making excuses for it (and there is NO excuse) then I’m not taking ownership.  So, I gained five pounds this past week.  There.  I said it.

Crap.

The week ahead looks better, and I’ll have to punish/reward myself (depending on how you look at it, ha ha) with some heavy exercise.  Right now I’m off to entertain my daughter with ‘Just Dance 2′ on the Wii.

Anyway, one other delicious cereal (yes, Cinnamon Life is still my favorite) is Special K Chocolatey Delight. For chocolate lovers like me, the tidbits of “chocolate” thrown in to the yummy crunchy Special K flakes are great! And, contrary to the sweet dried strawberry pieces in the other Special K variety, the “chocolatey delight” isn’t as few and far between as the strawberry counterpart. With Special K Chocolatey Delight, you actually get a chocolate taste in nearly every bite. Be careful to watch portion sizes though. With 3/4 cup being a serving size, you have to limit the chocolate intake in order to limit the calorie intake. (Darn!)

My grandparents have a home in Florida, but for health reasons have not been given doctor’s approval to leave their winter home (Indiana) for an extended absence. But, my Dad called last night and in our conversation he mentioned he was going to be taking them to Florida for a very short visit early next month. In addition to the verbalized “Oh, that’s nice” my mind was racing with thoughts of Lake Okeechobee, sunshine, warmth and some quality time with the older fam.

What would the hubby and kids do without me? I’m not working now so I don’t have to ask for “vacation”. I could take Sarah with me (the two year old) and then it would be easier for John to manage the two older kids alone. I’m not sure I could afford it right now, but there are some good deals on airfare and I think Sarah might fly for free if she sits on my lap. (Hey — now that I’ve lost over 100 pounds, I have a lap for her to sit on!)

Anyway, I wonder if it was a coincidence that I had a dream last night where I was fishing? Before you get all “happy” for me and think too many pleasant thoughts, I’ll also have to admit that in my dream I was crying out for help because the fish I had landed was so big that I felt like it was going to pull me into the water and I couldn’t maintain balance. In my dream I was scared out of my wits!

My Dad said he’d let me know the exact details once he had them. Maybe I will be going to Florida for a few days next month, and maybe I won’t.

In the mean time, today is Monday, and that means a weigh-in. I weigh 156, so that means a loss of one pound this week. I was very careful with what I ate and even tried a few new things, including Katie’s baked seitan recipe. I also completed the “Intensive” setting on the Just Sweat challenge portion of the Wii Just Dance 2 game. Accumulating 14000 sweat points in one week was difficult, but fun!