In that test phase, I knew I would not lose the few pounds that had crept back on, but I was fine with maintaining them for the time being.  While increasing the number of calories, I was also supposed to increase my levels of exercise to speed up my metabolism — hopefully with the end result also being warmer body temperatures.

Well, I got accustomed to eating more but not to the exercising more part.  I’ve proven, AGAIN, that I suck at exercise and if I had to rely on it to lose weight that I just would not have been able to do it.  Thank goodness for will power (on most days) when it comes to portion sizes.

Anyway, the purpose for my post tonight is to become accountable AGAIN for the poor eating choices I’ve made the last few days.  The last four days have all had caloric intake of over 2000 calories, with today and yesterday both being around 2800.  (Speaking of warmth — you would not believe how warm I am today!)  Tomorrow I get to start depriving myself again, and also pull out the wool socks.  Ha!

I will try hard to put some encouragement on here once in a while — some self-praise or positive thoughts or a healthy recipe — something other than using my blog for confessing my eating indiscretions or seeking accountability.  It’s not fair to you to hear all the bad and ugly and none of the good.  There’s plenty good, more good than bad actually.

Stick with me!

It allows you to create your own recipes so you can see, at a glance, what the nutritional data is for a complete recipe or complete meal might be.  Then, when it comes to accounting for a meal nutritionally, it is easier to do it for a whole recipe or a whole meal at a time rather than the individual components.  It’s cumbersome entering and tracking every morsel of food you eat, but at least there are some shortcuts, especially for those foods you eat the most.

I also exercised again today — not much — but enough to say I did it.  I did Just Dance 2 for the Wii for about 40 minutes, trying to break the records my daughter took back from me.  I did have the record in all songs except for Tik Tok.  Now she has them for five songs total.  (She’s 12 and has quite a competitive side like me!)

We were indoors all day again today because of the bad weather.  It’s been very cold and dreary.  The weathermen actually predicted snow today, but I don’t think it ever got cold enough.  At the highest, it was 39, but the low must have been higher than 32.

The best accomplishment for me today was the breakdown of foods by percentage.  I only had 45% carbs, and it’s usually 55% on a good day and more regularly about 60-65%.  (I love carbs, unfortunately, and stock up so high on vegetables because of their low calorie nature.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to get enough protein and fats in my diet.)  I also consumed 60g of proteins today, which is good.

I did eat two pieces of chocolate, but again stopped there.  In case you didn’t see the comment on my post from a couple days ago, Mike Navin suggested brushing my teeth after eating my bite of chocolate so I wouldn’t want to eat more after that.  I haven’t actually had to employ that the last three days, but I have used that trick before and it works!

Operating at a deficit like that should insure that the pounds come back off quickly.  I’m probably throwing my body into a state of shock — going from days where I consume 3000-4500 calories to ones were I barely break 1000!  I am a little hungry now, surprise surprise, but not bad.  Going to bed hungry isn’t the end of the world.  My mother reminded me growing up how many children there were in the world that went to bed hungry every night.  When she uttered those words, it was usually to express an opinion on how I should eat whatever was on my dinner plate because it was there for me — contrary to those kids globally that did not have food to eat.  Now, having traveled to Guatemala and seen the plight of children that literally do not have food some days, those words resonate so much more clearly for me.  It’s no longer about eating brussel sprouts (which I have ironically grown to enjoy) but being thankful for the abundance of food and the menu options available to me and my family.

Speaking of my Mom, here she is with me and two of my kids.  The photo was taken Sunday when we got together to celebrate Easter and the April birthdays (mine and hers).

Anyway, I will probably eat more than 1068 calories tomorrow.  It just so happened that is what was logged today.  The breakdown was a little too “carby”, with 55% carbs, 24% proteins and 21% fats, but not as lop-sided as it often is.  I know I should try for more protein, but since I have not (yet) tried protein powders or supplements, I feel I am eating as much meat and eggs and cheese as I can to suit my current preferences.  Today my 64g of protein consisted mostly of scrambled egg whites and cheddar cheese for breakfast, a chicken brat for lunch and chicken breast for dinner.  Thankfully, many of the vegetables I enjoy have some protein too, so every little bit helps.  Anyone have any thoughts on the use of protein powders and supplements?  I always associated them with body builders and didn’t think they were appropriate for me.  But, based on what I’ve been reading, many people working on weight loss or maintenance use them too — men and women.

Other things to note:  I did eat a little chocolate today, and it was ok.  My eldest daughter offered me a Hershey miniature from her basket when she got home from school.  I could not resist.  I hadn’t had an afternoon snack yet.  I had planned to eat a half cup of Special K Fruit & Yogurt cereal.  But, with a Hershey bar being waved in front of my face, I obviously had a change in plans.  I did stop at one though!    I may have to keep a bit of chocolate around just to “practice” being good with chocolate in moderation so that holidays don’t become chocolate binge-fests for me.  Does that sound like a reasonable plan, or does it sound like I’m flirting with disaster?  If I make one Hershey kiss part of my daily diet, I’m only giving up 25 calories and I’m removing the “rare treat” that they are now such that I shouldn’t want to overeat them at holiday time knowing that it would be only less than 24 hours before I could have that sweet taste in my mouth again.  That plan probably sounds hokey, but I see the merit.  What do you think?

Part of it is Easter.  I bought a bunch of crap to fill Easter baskets for my three kids and ended up eating what wouldn’t fit in the baskets, what went into mine, and stole (yes, actually stole) some of what I had put in the my kids’ baskets.  Chocolate is evil — no, my relationship with it is evil.  I love Hershey chocolate.  Love love LOVE.  The sorry-ass truth is that yesterday I consumed 4588 calories and today 3157.  I’m not going to maintain that way.  If I do, what I will be maintaining is misery!

Between an overabundance of chocolate in the house, which apparently I thought I could best process by just consuming it until it was gone, and some personal family issues that are still outstanding, my reliance on food for comfort is producing undesirable results.

This maintenance thing is just a big head game.  At least for me, right now, that is how it feels.  My head is telling me “You can finally relax a bit.  You’ve worked hard for so long.  You’ve counted your calories.  You’ve eaten the right things and made the right choices — the sacrifices, if you will.  Go ahead, you deserve a little treat now and then.  Besides, part of eating in maintenance mode is being able to consume more calories than when the goal is losing weight.  Well, as soon as I justify one thing, it becomes easier to justify them all.  Have you ever heard that statement that goes something like If you commit a sin more than once it doesn’t seem as much of a sin?  That’s supposedly what my mind is telling my stomach.

Then, for a belated birthday gift, my brother gave me two pair of the cutest capri pants.  They were a size 8 and they fit!  Holy smokes!  I didn’t have any other pair of pants in a size 8 and just recently got into a size 10 in amazement.  But, both pair (even different name brands) fit!  For a moment, I felt like I was invincible.  Nothing can get me down.  I’m in a size 8 now!

But, back to back days of binging and I’m guessing that if I tried those cute pants on tomorrow morning, they would not fit.  I don’t even want to try them.  I’m so ashamed.  I’ll have to wait until the pounds come back off.  They will, but it’s embarrassing to admit that they came back on in the first place!

Many months ago, I promised myself that I would never weigh ten pounds more than my lowest weight.  So, that means 158.  I WILL NOT let the scale get back to 158 before breaking the cycle of gluttony and getting back on track.

The birthday cake is gone.  The Easter chocolate is gone.  The Easter chocolate I bought on clearance the day after Easter (today) is gone.  The pan of lasagna I made last week is gone.  Except for a few things that I’m rather confident I will not eat anyway, there are only good, normal things in the house to eat.  Starting tomorrow, I’m going to be a good girl.  Just you wait and see.  I’m going to post my intake and exercise every day for the next week.   (I’m sure you’re not all that interested, but it will keep me honest and accountable.  I find that spilling my beans on the blog is one of the best ways I have for guaranteeing the results I want.  I’m very embarrassed to admit the number of calories I’ve consumed the last couple of days.  Given the good results I’ve experienced over the last couple of years, I may have some readers that wouldn’t have thought I’d be capable of eating so much in a two-day period.  It really is pathetic.  BUT, it stops now.  I promise.

However, given that ONE slice of Giordano’s pizza stuffed with pepperoni has 800 calories, if I had the opportunity to eat it every day, I’d obviously weigh about 800 pounds!  A change in mindset has occurred.  Except for those very special “one-in-every-four-year” occasions (the last of which was my 40th birthday) I have decided to stick to thin crust pizza whenever possible.

Why?  One slice of thin-crust pepperoni pizza has only 170 calories!  What I had last night was from Papa Murphy’s and their deLite thin crust pizza has 40% fewer calories and 30% less fat. 

Technically, I eat pizza much less frequently than I used to, so the opportunities to rack up the calories are fewer and farther between.  There used to be a weekly “pizza night” in my meal preparation rotation, but it’s actually probably only about once or twice a month now that we have pizza.

When we do have pizza and it is NOT thin crust, I cut myself a half-slice to start and try to supplement that as much as possible with salad or some other side dish.  One of my favorite thicker crust varieties is the Meat Lovers pizza from Pizza Hut!  There are always ways to practice restraint and make good choices.  It’s difficult when it comes to pizza and other favorite foods though!

Some suggestions:

• Pick thin crust over a thicker variety
• Put veggies on your pizza instead of meat
• Ask the restaurant to go light on the cheese
• Try a bbq chicken pizza for the taste and texture of meat without as many calories
• Cut the slices smaller — making 12 wedges instead of 8 for instance  (when you allow yourself two slices, 1/6 of the pizza is better than 1/4)

What are some of your suggestions for making eating pizza a tad “easier to swallow” when you’re trying to lose weight?

What we had Saturday (and what I’ve been eating since then in leftover fashion) is a main dish of Continental Beef with a side of Baked Potato Casserole and Onion Popovers.  Single portions of each in total only set you back about 700 calories — not bad considering there is enough fat in the potato casserole to choke a horse!  I didn’t think I’d like the beef that John made, as it contains three things I don’t like:  coffee, red wine and mushrooms.  However, it was very very good!

For the entire day, I logged 1636 calories, and I was somewhat restrained at the dessert table.  We had chocolate mint brownie fudge and peppermint ice cream — and of course sugar cookies and M&Ms and all that other good stuff.  It helped that we ate around 2pm and didn’t have two separate lunch and dinner meals.  With appetizers and dessert, that one “meal” was responsible for all but 93 (breakfast) of my daily calories.

I have two more family feasts coming up, Christmas Day and New Years Eve.  Christmas Eve is also at a restaurant, but I’m happy to report that I’ve pretty well solidified my good behavior when dining out at restaurants.  I don’t foresee any problems there.  But, Christmas Day at Mom’s will be slightly more challenging and New Years Eve at my house will be very scary, as it involves lots of munchies as we sit around the dining room table playing board games and card games.  With the point of it being trying to stay awake until midnight, sometimes food enables me to do that more easily!

Well, I should stop rambling for now.  I have to report that today’s weigh-in was 158, which means week-to-week loss of two pounds.  That was nice to see on the scale, given that last week there was no loss and this week I had a family feast!  And, seeing an “8″ in the last position of that weight means that you get to see me in my lovely blue shirt!  I’ll have one of my kids snap that photo later today and then update you visually!

Today we went to a little sports bar on Okauchee Lake called Rookies Allstars. I tried to find something on the menu that wouldn’t “kill” my diet but didn’t have much luck. I chose a beef tenderloin sandwich with fresh garlic and a side of chips and pickle. My other options included sandwiches with cheese or sauce and fries. I thought the chips would be a better choice, but perhaps not. Anyway, I get home and plug the closest approximations I could find in the Livestrong app to gauge calories consumed and sighed when I discovered that my lunch came to about 11o0 calories. I hope this is not a signal of how my weekend is going to go! In hindsight, I should have only eaten a small portion of the chips that came with my sandwich.

Maybe I should just treat today’s lunch as one of those spikes on the graph that helps trigger a faster metabolism when I resume to normal caloric intake!

For what it’s worth, the sandwhich was delicious and the lunchtime conversation heavenly. Oh, it was also a plus that my toddler didn’t fall off her barstool. We didn’t plan our destination very carefully to consider kid-friendliness. We had never been there before and they *did* seem a little taken aback when I asked if they had any milk on the menu!

1. I haven’t abandoned the notion completely, but have discovered that I seem to care more about the comfort and well-being of my daughter than I do my desire to run a 5K in less than 30 minutes. I was getting my “training” in at the YMCA while my two-year old stayed in the child care room. However, she was not adjusting well to being without me. I think she was being “overstimulated” in that environment. Whatever the reason, I wussed out and “rescued” her. I keep telling myself that it is not an excuse to forego the 5K goal, but I haven’t even substituted running on the treadmill at home after she is in bed at night or while she is napping in the afternoon. More on that in the coming weeks… as I really don’t intend to let this one get away — I just haven’t been diligent in the recent past.
2. I find it interesting that as soon as I began concentrating most heavily on the sodium column in my “Daily Plate” (livestrong.com) web app that the weight just happened to fall off. The last 1.5 weeks have been very easy to lose weight! Sure, perhaps it is mostly water weight (in that I am not retaining) but heck, it feels great nonetheless!
3. My new favorite snack is frozen blueberries! Eating them frozen means I have to eat them more slowly. They are like eating a dessert! They are high in fiber and low in both calories and sodium.
4. I had two family parties last week and two additional opportunities to eat from a dinner buffet. At Pizza Hut, I had the equivalent of one slice of pizza (it was actually two microscopic slices because they are cut smaller for the pizzas placed on the buffet) and lots and lots of salad. The downside? The little packet of dressing I spread across two huge mounds of salad greens actually contained 770 mg of sodium. Yikes! Who knew something that contained so few calories (only 20) would be so high in sodium? Anyway, the second buffet opportunity was at a place called Machine Shed. It is kind of like Cracker Barrel. My siblings and I took my Dad there to celebrate his birthday. Although the buffet looked fantasticly yummy, I decided on something much more reasonable. My brunch still came to 770 calories, but it was so well-rounded carb/protein/fat -wise that I was pleased with my choices and it was more than enough food. My plate was clean at the end of the meal but I didn’t have to eat much for the rest of the day and I certainly saved myself the hefty buffet price and the desire to sample everything under the sky. One of the family events was a pig roast and potluck picnic. Although there were dozens of favorite family recipes in attendance, I concentrated more on the “family” part than I did the food part. It was a beautiful day and I ate well in moderation. I’m so proud of myself. At the pig roast, I did not feel like a pig!

I gained a pound, according to the scale, so this week’s official number is 181. <sigh>

However, I wore my “college jeans” yesterday and not only was there no “muffin top” spilling out over the waistband but they were also a bit loose! I looked pretty good yesterday, if I do say so myself, so it was a good day to be around friends I hadn’t seen in a while.

After three hard runs last week, I was kind of hoping for a weight loss, so the extra pound is a bit disappointing. I won’t give up though. In fact, I’m back to the Y right after I post this entry to try to improve on my time of 44 minutes. I have a feeling that as the after-effects of exercise-change-in-routine kick in, the pound will come off, and hopefully more. I did behave myself eating-wise this past week. There was one day where I consumed 1540 calories (I decided to partake of a Friday night fish fry which is something I haven’t done in almost a year I’d guess) but other than that my second highest was 1382 and all other five days were under 1300 calories.

I hope I’m not at a plateau — it does seem like I have been gaining and losing the same pound for about three weeks now. I need to see continued downward trends because there are only 4.5 months left in the year!

As a side note, a milestone did come and go recently and unless my memory escapes me, I haven’t commented… the one year anniversary of this weight loss journey just passed. I have been at this diet for a year and managed to lose 88 pounds. So, although 100 pounds can come off in a shorter amount of time, if someone asks me how long it took me, I’ll have to report that it took me longer than a year. That day will come!