There is something magical about losing 100 pounds. One year ago today I hit that mark. The day nearly came and left without acknowledgement on my behalf but my friend Katie sent me an email asking about how long I had been at my goal weight. Her question made me realize the fact that I could celebrate an anniversary! 
Since losing 100 pounds, I lost another 20 and hit 148 on 3/28/11 and have been as high as 165 since then. Now I’m at 158 and seem to be in a pattern of gaining and losing the same 5-10 pounds over and over.
Maintenance is hard! But, I do take pride (and comfort) in the fact that I’ve learned the ins and outs of the process and when I do screw up I know exactly what to do to get back to where I want to be.
From here, I’m striving to (re)lose five pounds and hover as close to possible in the low 150s. I think I will be comfortable there.
So soon after my last rant about not being able to exercise if my life depended on it, I thought I would offer as a balance to my negativity the fact that I can — I just don’t do it often, ha!
Anyway, this Saturday morning I am going to be “stepping out”, a walk to help the American Diabetes Association put a stop to diabetes. Both my sister and dad have diabetes, and a few other ancestors had it as well. I have been fortunate to escape it, and even during my pregnancy a few years ago managed to keep both blood sugar and blood pressure in check. (Given the family history and the fact that I was over 100 pounds overweight at the time, I was surprised.)
Last year my sister did the Step Out for Diabetes walk and had asked if I wanted to join her this year. So, for the past couple of months I have been planning this exercise. It should be fun, and I hope the weather cooperates! (Maybe I should PLAN for more exercise, actually schedule it or commit to an exercise partner?)
Just in case any of my readers are wealthy and don’t have any other plans for extra funds, feel free to sponsor me for the upcoming walk!
Tags: American Diabetes Association, diabetes, exercise partner, Step Out Walk for Diabetes
Earlier this month I was explaining how I was trying to increase the number of calories I consume in a daily basis from about 1200 to somewhere between 1500 and 1700 in an attempt to see if the additional fuel I was giving my body would help warm it in these colder months.
In that test phase, I knew I would not lose the few pounds that had crept back on, but I was fine with maintaining them for the time being. While increasing the number of calories, I was also supposed to increase my levels of exercise to speed up my metabolism — hopefully with the end result also being warmer body temperatures.
Well, I got accustomed to eating more but not to the exercising more part. I’ve proven, AGAIN, that I suck at exercise and if I had to rely on it to lose weight that I just would not have been able to do it. Thank goodness for will power (on most days) when it comes to portion sizes.
Anyway, the purpose for my post tonight is to become accountable AGAIN for the poor eating choices I’ve made the last few days. The last four days have all had caloric intake of over 2000 calories, with today and yesterday both being around 2800. (Speaking of warmth — you would not believe how warm I am today!) Tomorrow I get to start depriving myself again, and also pull out the wool socks. Ha!
I will try hard to put some encouragement on here once in a while — some self-praise or positive thoughts or a healthy recipe — something other than using my blog for confessing my eating indiscretions or seeking accountability. It’s not fair to you to hear all the bad and ugly and none of the good. There’s plenty good, more good than bad actually.
Stick with me!
Tags: always cold, binge eating, cheating, counting calories, exercise, metabolism
Now that we’re in October again, there is definitely a chill in the air. In fact, when I woke up yesterday morning there was frost on the ground. I went to my daughter’s soccer game with two layers on bottom, two pair of socks, and four layers on top — a blanket over my lap and wool gloves on my hands. The kicker? The thermostat on the van said 56 degrees. Sitting in the sun on a not-so-windy day, I was comfortable, but not until I had dressed the way I did.
Isn’t that insane? I was hoping this winter was going to be better. I was “living” through last winter with the promise of a smoother time of it this go ’round. I was hoping that my body would have acclimated itself to its new size and that I wouldn’t be so freakishly cold all the time this year.
Unfortunately, I miserably disappointed. I think I am going to have to have the doctor rule out an iron deficiency (or else prescribe an iron supplement) or something!
Actually, I have been undergoing a test of my own the last couple of weeks, which explains why the few pounds I have put back on are maintained rather than re-lost. You see, I have purposely been trying to consume about 300-500 more calories per day (averaging 1500 to 1700 instead of 1200) thinking that the extra fuel I am providing my body will suffice to better heat my body. (After all, a calorie is a unit of heat!) Well, it hasn’t really worked, and in addition to not heating my body, the extra calories have also not allowed me to lose the eight pounds or so that I’d like to re-lose.
I’m dreaming of warmer climates again!
Wow. Time flies. I haven’t been as dedicated to the blog as I would have ideally liked. The days seem to melt together and flow into one.
Not much has been happening on the home front and my weight hasn’t changed a whole lot in the last 30 days. A month ago today I weighed 163 and this morning 160. There was a lot of fluctuation, down to 156 in that time period and then slightly back up again. I keep straying from the plan and then do all the required things to take the weight back off.
I wish it wasn’t such a game. I wish maintenance was easier than it is.
I tried several months ago to enter the maintenance mode by increasing calorie intake by about 300 calories per day, up to about 1500 from 1200. I thought that since I no longer needed to be in weight loss mode, I could afford to eat a bit more. Well, I guess I overcompensated or perhaps gave myself too many liberties. In any case, I’ve had to remain in that “loss” mode 90% of the time to erase the damage done by the 10% of days I screw up.
Putting the positive spin on it, though, one YEAR ago today I was 171 pounds and two years ago today I was 243 pounds. In the grand scheme, I have come a long way, I am still doing great, and I am painfully aware of the ways to eat. When I do screw up, I am thankful that I do not seem to have it in me to “undo” all the progress I’ve made.
I’ll try to update the blog more regularly. I know I don’t have a huge readership, but those friends I’ve made along the path of weight loss tell me I may have the ability to help someone else by sharing my experiences and offering encouragement.
Tags: maintenance mode
I might need some help. Tonight after everyone else in the family went to bed, I ate a whole bag of chocolate baking morsels. Last night I was victim to a whole bag of M&Ms. The night before that I drove late at night to Culvers for custard.
The odd thing? All day each of the last few days I have eaten very well — carefully recorded every morsel I ate, chose my meals and snacks wisely, stayed within the calorie range I wanted — but when the day was done and I should have been in bed I was instead up eating like a crazed lunatic!
My sleep has been terrible. My stress has been very high. (An uncle passed away today and I had to deal with a medical emergency of someone else VERY close to me that I will not reveal to protect the privacy of that individual.) Added to that is the fact that my youngest transitioned to preschool last week and my older two start back tomorrow.
I’ve got reasons, but I need to be stronger than this. I don’t want to throw away progress.
It has been four weeks since my last blog post and perhaps part of the reason I am failing at this is that I haven’t had any accountability. It’s worth a try. I don’t mind that everyone else sees my failures. I’m human, and I can admit that I have successes too! I’m not totally depressed, just in a funk right now with everything I am trying to juggle. I think I am using food as an outlet for my stress, but right now I am so junked up on sugar that I think I just might vomit. My stomach hurts so much.
Some positives from the last four weeks:
- I recovered from my last binge four weeks ago and went from 161 pounds back down to 151.
- I went on a mini vacation to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan and engaged in lots of outdoors-y activities including hiking, rock climbing, and swimming — all without feelings of being overly fatigued.
- I wore a new swimsuit and for the first time in ages looked at a photo of me in a swimsuit without disgust.
- I was away from my routine for four days on vacation and had to rely on food prepared by others yet did not gain any weight on vacation.
The negatives:
- Night-time snacking that has plummeted into uncontrollable binge fests — wanting to eat secretly and alone rather than for nourishment and energy with those that I love.
- Went from 151 pounds back up to 160 in just four days.
- Not getting good quality sleep.
- Have back aches every day and therefore not much desire for exercise.
- Unknown duration of stressful situation and to top it off, a funeral to attend this weekend.
I am going to share a few photos to highlight the positive and to encourage me to seek out healthy ways of dealing with stress or whatever else has caused me to binge at night. I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m stronger than this, dammit!
Tags: binge, chocolate morsels, exercise, M&M, yo-yo
I had three objectives for August 3rd:
- jog 30 minutes straight on the treadmill
- get back to 148 pounds
- do 10 pushups
I reached the first goal on June 24th. Sadly, I never was able to complete the other two. I weighed as low as 149 since setting the goal for myself. That weight appeared on the scale a little over a week ago and thought there was a chance for me to hit it. I attended a family reunion last weekend and even made it through the festivities relatively unscathed. Returning to my normal routine, the scale showed only a one pound gain — not bad for a weekend of food prepared by others, meals out, treats, road snacks, etc. Weighing 150 on Sunday night (July 31st) I thought it was unlikely that I’d hit 148 in just three days. But, I never thought I’d see 161 either.
BUT — for whatever reason — I decided to binge eat. I don’t know why exactly. I think it has something to do with the fact that my two older kids stayed with my dad for the week following the reunion. Without them here, the little red dude on my shoulder told me things like … “You don’t have to set a good example. No one is here to see whether you have a tiny cup of ice cream or a big bowl. Eat chips from the bag rather than ration out a seven chip serving size. etc. etc. etc.” Following two days of extreme caloric intake, (Monday and Tuesday) I managed to stay around 2000 calories today. But, the scale this morning was all the way back up to 161. I know that is mostly bloat, but it should come as no surprise given that was the same weight I hit when I needed some accountability on May 17th and decided to set this goal for myself. It’s sad to know that 2.5 months were spent trying to get back down to my target weight. I guess I’ll do the same thing in the upcoming two months. I wish I wasn’t yo-yoing so much. It’s better to just maintain normally without the bumps. I haven’t felt like I’ve been successful at maintenance mode.
The good news? I have not fallen off the bandwagon. My mindset has shifted back to where it needs to be.
So many people at the reunion gave me such wonderful compliments. They don’t know the struggles. Second thought… maybe they do — it runs in the family. Ugh!
As for the 3rd part of the goal, the pushups? I can do two. Two is better than none, which is how many I could do 2.5 months ago. Little victories… that’s what it’s all about. I’m a winner — not a champion, but a winner nonetheless.
Tags: binge eating, family reunion, goals, push-up fitness test, yo-yo
I have added a widget on the right side of my blog’s home page for the MyPlate tracker on the Livestrong.com website. It’s the one I use to track my daily intake and calories burned. I didn’t start using it until I was about 60 pounds into my weight loss journey but after getting to a point where the weight didn’t seem to want to continue coming off, I used it extensively. It has really been helpful to see the numbers. I like how I can, midday, change up the afternoon snack and evening meal if I have to balance out a particularly heavy breakfast, morning snack or lunch. It’s also helpful for me to see how my carbs/proteins/fats balance out on a daily basis and monitor things like daily sodium intake, cholesterol, and fiber!
It allows you to create your own recipes so you can see, at a glance, what the nutritional data is for a complete recipe or complete meal might be. Then, when it comes to accounting for a meal nutritionally, it is easier to do it for a whole recipe or a whole meal at a time rather than the individual components. It’s cumbersome entering and tracking every morsel of food you eat, but at least there are some shortcuts, especially for those foods you eat the most.
My neighbor was cleaning out her basement and asked if I was interested in anything that was otherwise going to Goodwill. One of the things she unearthed was a piece of exercise equipment that I had remembered seeing advertised a while back. Not wanting to pass on an opportunity to get free exercise, I took it from her and hauled it down to MY basement!
I tried it for the first time this morning because rain kept me from wanting to venture to the YMCA. (I know, I won’t melt!) Anyway, I was a little clumsy on it at first but after about five minutes got into a fairly good rhythm. I never did go very fast (I think about 3mph was my max) but it was a nice change of pace to the routine treadmill. The Gazelle is actually more like an elliptical machine but with more gliding motion than up and down stepping. It didn’t seem like I was getting much of a workout while I was on it, but after 30 minutes of usage, I could tell how well it worked my legs as I got off!
I have yet to find some videos online that show tips for varying the workout with this machine, but based on reviews I’ve seen so far, this machine is well-liked. As for me, I’m definitely willing to try it again, but based solely upon using it once, I’ll add my name to the list of those that think favorably of this product.
Tags: Gazelle Edge, Tony Little Gazelle
I met my running goal… I jogged for 30 minutes straight without stopping to walk any of it. I’m ecstatic that I met the goal, not really doubting that I would (those pushups are another story!) but I’ve really just come to realize that I will never really enjoy running.
I thought that I would make a natural progression of the 30-minutes-straight goal to include a 30 minute 5K goal. It seemed like the type of goal that most 5K runners aim for, at least based on what I’ve read on other blogs, so I thought it would suit me too. I do agree that once you start running for x-number minutes (15 or 20 maybe?) that you feel like you can keep going forever. But, I don’t know if it is my lack of coordination, improper form, or treadmill-based-lack-of-scenery boredom, but I’m just not excited about the prospect of continuing to run the 30 minute intervals with the goal of getting faster at doing so.
I tried. I increased the speed from the time where goal was met (3.5 mph — which is a slow run I know but with my short stride and clumsy approach to it was actually a smooth pace for me) to 4.0 yesterday on the treadmill. I only ran for about 30 seconds before I began to dwell on the fact that a lower back pain was nagging me. It seemed like each step seemed to jar my bones and apply pressure to an area that was already sore. I didn’t feel that I wanted to continue putting my body in pain just to get past a certain time limit and I know I didn’t want to feel that pain for another 29 and a half minutes! I think my body was trying to tell me something.
Anyway, instead, I put the speed back down to 3.2, I increased the incline all the way to 15% and then walked the rest of the half hour. The amazing thing was, my heart rate got much higher, I burned many more calories and I had no pain. If I’m going to get better workouts by walking, I think I should go that route! It’s all about health anyway. I wish I enjoyed exercise more, but I just don’t.
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